The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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