u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
