Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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