i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
