So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Found the puke drawer
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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