we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize