just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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