I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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