this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
