guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
