their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
