hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
