I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
