I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
