I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
