I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
