Don't you send me to vm
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
