I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
