Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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