There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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