OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
