im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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