If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
