im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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