The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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