her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
