508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
