I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
