Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
