Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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