i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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