I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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