god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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