he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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