Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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