worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.