Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.