if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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