Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.

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  (805): at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle. http://tfl.nu/34ph
  Replies (64) Good night (1121) Bad night (3120)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.

  (1-805): View more from California

  You do realize that you broke up with him, right?

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  (805): I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose. (1-805): You do realize that you broke up with him, right? http://tfl.nu/4u3s
  Replies (5) Good night (555) Bad night (2638)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.

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  (606): I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified. http://tfl.nu/k6t4
  Replies (15) Good night (5648) Bad night (1506)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.

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  (818): I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head. http://tfl.nu/x66l
  Replies (20) Good night (7787) Bad night (1197)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.

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  (415): I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward. http://tfl.nu/lmmj
  Replies (7) Good night (1178) Bad night (3471)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too

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  (412): apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too http://tfl.nu/j3jp
  Replies (10) Good night (3031) Bad night (945)
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  (310): View more from California

  The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?

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  (310): The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME? http://tfl.nu/y4zz
  Replies (7) Good night (2772) Bad night (707)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.

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  (850): That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving. http://tfl.nu/fvqq
  Replies (6) Good night (1388) Bad night (319)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.

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  (315): I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening. http://tfl.nu/i72z
  Replies (3) Good night (536) Bad night (287)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.

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  (314): Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night. http://tfl.nu/wauu
  Replies (5) Good night (484) Bad night (906)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me

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  (218): Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me http://tfl.nu/p7wy
  Replies (2) Good night (850) Bad night (254)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  How's the hangover?

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.

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  (337): How's the hangover? (1-337): I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should. http://tfl.nu/4fpy
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (514)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts

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  (205): I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts http://tfl.nu/716i
  Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (268)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.

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  (260): I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then. http://tfl.nu/hywk
  Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (477)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow

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  (304): Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow http://tfl.nu/n1c6
  Replies (2) Good night (233) Bad night (1052)

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