Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone

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  (949): Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone http://tfl.nu/p93a
  Replies (11) Good night (2698) Bad night (688)
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  (805): View more from California

  before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.

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  (805): before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was. http://tfl.nu/5vrd
  Replies (41) Good night (5146) Bad night (1105)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.

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  (503): You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living. http://tfl.nu/kso8
  Replies (14) Good night (2744) Bad night (703)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga

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  (414): It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga http://tfl.nu/cqgc
  Replies (20) Good night (1099) Bad night (4802)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life

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  (860): I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life http://tfl.nu/l4zk
  Replies (37) Good night (6223) Bad night (1423)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Because we had sex in one.

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  (919): Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory? (1-919): Because we had sex in one. http://tfl.nu/y2am
  Replies (7) Good night (5819) Bad night (1067)
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  (310): View more from California

  My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.

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  (310): My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in. http://tfl.nu/bth8
  Replies (14) Good night (1335) Bad night (2891)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.

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  (815): you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night. http://tfl.nu/m1vr
  Replies (6) Good night (3532) Bad night (1174)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?

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  (605): They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now? http://tfl.nu/s9tm
  Replies (11) Good night (4186) Bad night (1002)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml

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  (507): The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it h http://tfl.nu/rzj1
  Replies (6) Good night (625) Bad night (2032)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best

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  (443): I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best http://tfl.nu/exu8
  Replies (6) Good night (1702) Bad night (518)
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.

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  (707): I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies. http://tfl.nu/fb0w
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (441)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.

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  (785): All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood. http://tfl.nu/5nl6
  Replies (4) Good night (500) Bad night (499)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.

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  (303): Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling. http://tfl.nu/esxc
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (306)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.

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  (703): The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is. http://tfl.nu/j6gx
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (357)

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