fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just want to make out with him forever
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
