everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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