you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
