We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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