i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
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