they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Randomize
