if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
