A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
How's work?
Spinning.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
