FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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