Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
MIDGETS
????
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
