just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
