You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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