youre lurking in front of me
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
