Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
