Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
