are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
