when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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