I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
