don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
