idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
