i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
its liver damage thursday
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
